So, apparently someone i thought was a best friend wants nothing more to do with me.
One of my bridesmaids not only decided to step down (because she wants to take vacation in Florida the week before my wedding, and doesn't know if she'll have "enough" vacation time for her trip, my wedding and her honeymoon), isn't even coming to my wedding, and then pressured me to step down as one of her maids, so that her 16 year old Male cousin could be a bridesmaid instead of me.
on one hand, I'm happy because, she picked one of the ugliest dresses I had seen in a long time. But I'm also very hurt, and I feel very rejected. I went through a lot of work to make her part of my day, and she doesn't even want to show up. I don't understand. Am I that horrible of a friend?
So, I haven't been blogging latley, and here's why:
I am living in a sea of depression:
I've been unemployed since December. This is NOT ok. I don't like being dependent on other people, and I especially don't like that I feel so helpless to even find a job. but NO ONE around here is hiring for my degree. I've emailed my resume to every company, responded to every job posting even remotely related to Chemical Engineering, but I'm not even getting "sorry you're not good enough" or "sorry, we can't take on any employees right now" I'm only getting silence. I'm starting to think that I will NEVER work again, and Brett and I will be forced to live out our lives paycheck to paycheck in this stupid apartment.
My parents, are still acting like children, and thats all I really want to say about that.
Also, someone from my past, has managed to rear his ugly freaking head AGAIN. This has prompted a month filled with nightmares...
I don't like to write about sadness here, but i felt I owed any readers I still had an explanation. Because of these things, nothing exciting has been going on, because, i'd rather stay home all day than even leave the house.
bah.
:(
Oh yes, and also, apparently, everyone in my family is gearing up to hate my wedding. I keep hearing second-hand that "so-and-so is crushed that you aren't having REAL wedding cake" "someone who doesn't even have kids is upset that you made it no-kids" and "your mom wants such and such, so you should get it instead of what you want to make her happy" and it's frustrating as hell. I'm trying so hard to make my wedding NOT be "sit there and act interested for an hour, then eat some crappy food" and to be something that people will have fun at, while not spending 9 billionty dollars, and all everyone cares about is some minute detail that "tradition" dictates I'm supposed to have. It's too much pressure.
I am living in a sea of depression:
I've been unemployed since December. This is NOT ok. I don't like being dependent on other people, and I especially don't like that I feel so helpless to even find a job. but NO ONE around here is hiring for my degree. I've emailed my resume to every company, responded to every job posting even remotely related to Chemical Engineering, but I'm not even getting "sorry you're not good enough" or "sorry, we can't take on any employees right now" I'm only getting silence. I'm starting to think that I will NEVER work again, and Brett and I will be forced to live out our lives paycheck to paycheck in this stupid apartment.
My parents, are still acting like children, and thats all I really want to say about that.
Also, someone from my past, has managed to rear his ugly freaking head AGAIN. This has prompted a month filled with nightmares...
I don't like to write about sadness here, but i felt I owed any readers I still had an explanation. Because of these things, nothing exciting has been going on, because, i'd rather stay home all day than even leave the house.
bah.
:(
Oh yes, and also, apparently, everyone in my family is gearing up to hate my wedding. I keep hearing second-hand that "so-and-so is crushed that you aren't having REAL wedding cake" "someone who doesn't even have kids is upset that you made it no-kids" and "your mom wants such and such, so you should get it instead of what you want to make her happy" and it's frustrating as hell. I'm trying so hard to make my wedding NOT be "sit there and act interested for an hour, then eat some crappy food" and to be something that people will have fun at, while not spending 9 billionty dollars, and all everyone cares about is some minute detail that "tradition" dictates I'm supposed to have. It's too much pressure.
